I'm a doubting Teri

I love my job, I like LA alright and, despite the mishaps and issues I've had with my roommates, they're tolerable, at the very least.

Yet I find myself wondering if I can (if I WANT to) do a second year of JVC, and the arguments for staying and for going are strong and balance each other out, which leaves me in a state of irritated limbo.

So would somebody PLEASE just tell me what to do?

This experience has led me to a much deeper appreciation for the great friendships I had all through college and perhaps feel their absence is a completely normal phenomenon post-college, regardless of employment status and location. However, I can't help but feel like I would be more comfortable (and for some reason, less lonesome) if I were back in WI, closer to my family and doing what I spent 6 years preparing to do.

At the same time, I can see the value of what we're doing here at DM and though I'm frustrated when things don't go right (which tends to seem like more often than not), the fruits of our labor are so sweet when they ripen that it's hard to fathom how we ever arrived at such a delicious outcome.  And the potential that our program and our kids have is dauntingly inspiring.

I thought this was my dream job - hanging out with teenagers and giving them a safe place to be heard, support they need, and someone who cares more about them than whether or not they've done their homework or passed a test or done their chores or...

And it's been a lot of fun.  But I don't feel like I'm reaching my own potential here and I wonder why.  I also wonder if I ever will reach my full potential and when I do, will I realize it?  

So the result of my pondering is:  I am where I am.  And I'm not entirely sure where to go from here.  Do I stick out another difficult year of living in community and dealing with all the drama and issues that come with it?  Do I stay at my job but try to work something out so I don't have to do JVC for 18 more months?  Do I call it quits and go home and start my life as an overworked, overpaid, under-appreciated teacher?  Or do I just stay in bed for the rest of my life and hope that someone will bring me food every day and pay my bills?

I think that last option sounds tempting...  ;)